You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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