My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize