we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
