Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize