you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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