i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
