I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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