drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
