Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize