Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
