He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
