New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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