My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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