Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
