I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
