if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
