I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we have officially lost it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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