As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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