I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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