Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
