Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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