can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
