evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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