it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
