I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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