i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
