and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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