He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
