He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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