I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
