I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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