eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
