ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
