now i know why i became what i already was.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
