I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
