hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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