There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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