There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
