Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
