kristin has been a bad kristin
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
