butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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