his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
