i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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