I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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