2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
