omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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