I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize