just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
