super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
