I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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