i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
