Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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