I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
