walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
