yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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