if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
