i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
