I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
