susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
