So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
