she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dear god my vagina.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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